Jumbled

So I have been neglecting my blog...again.

Nothing much going on in life, just working, hanging out with the niece and nephews and studying for the GRE, which is not going very well. I am also going to be taking it a lot sooner then I though I was going to be taking it but oh well.

My nephews and niece are great! I love hanging with them. We went swimming and J, was showing off how well he could swim and B actually put his face in the water. N, clung to her mom most of the time but that was okay. She got brave towards the end.

Work is still there. My bosses are great and very relaxed. I wore the wrong dressy shoes and butchered my feet, so for 3 days I would walk to work and then talk off my sandals till I needed to go help someone or until the end of the day it was great. My feet healed really fast.

I love my Kindle, though I now have to figure out how to budget impulse book buying into my budget, didn't take into account how Easy it would to just by a book and not think about the amount...

But thats okay, its a good problem to have.

I have decided I need to change how much the world influences me in every aspect of my life so I am making some changes. I will blog more about that separately in a day or so.

Spring Break

I cannot wait till next week. School this week has been incredibly stressful. I did make decent grades on the paper and tests that I know of this week.

I made a 92 on my Texas History paper. Which a great accomplishment, lots of apparently of people have told me that Dr. D, is really hard and boring but I have not found that. He is very entertaining and yeah some of his jokes are corny but at least he has a sense of humor. I enjoy his class which is a good thing because I have to take another course he teaches in the fall semester.

In geography I made a 92 on the second test of the semester (88 on the first one). I don’t feel that I really earned it though. I haven’t really put much effort into studying for his class as I should, but it comes easy for me. I can memorize places on a map or geological features with ease. The cultural part of it is becoming interesting at least.

I do have a French IV test tomorrow that I don’t feel at ease about. Even if I study I can’t seem to do well in her class, it is very frustrating.

Spring break is next week though. I cannot wait. I will be working at the WTC and the church nursery plus I will be house sitting but it will still be a change. I won’t have to worry about going to class or over sleeping because my bosses at the WTC don’t expect any of us student workers in before 9 or 10 am. Which is a great change after having 8am classes all week.

I am going to start a paper for English class and possible start on my other history book but mostly just trying to relax and breathe. And work through all the emotions I have been keeping inside because there is too much else going on in my life to deal with them too.

Feelings

I'm really tired of people asking me if I’m okay, need to talk etc, etc.
I'm also tired of the remarks that “your acting weird” or “why aren't you crying”.
After crying more than I have in the last six months in a 4 day period I can't seem to cry anymore. I FEEL like crying but I don't seem to have anymore tears to cry with. I Love my Grandma, just because I am not falling apart now that is gone doesn't mean I don't care. I’m trying to compartmentalize my feelings right now till spring break (another week...) because I have way to much school work going on this week and next. I am so stressed out right now with everything that has been going on, part of it is because I have been slacking on my daily quiet time with God. I’m trying to handle everything on my own and I am soo not good at it. This week has been horrible because I can’t bring myself to care about anything school related even though I have so much of it due. I have been forcing myself to go through the motions and write a 5 page History paper, study for 3 exams next week (possibly for depending on how the teacher feels) and 2-4 page English paper.

To try and relax (is that even possible while in university?) I have been organizing all my Germany pictures I took last July and picking my favorite to make a book on shutterfly.com. It takes my mind off stuff I should be doing….I know, I know studying should come first. Not really concerned with that right now. My dad is though, I know he is trying to think of my future but right now a failed assignment will not affect my grade too bad in 2 out of 5 classes. One class has a lot of extra credit 1 page papers I could do I could pass the coarse alone if I did all of them.

I am just so worn out this week it makes me wonder if I really want to do Graduate school. I have another year till I finish my bachelors and it would add 2 more years on. Lots to think about after this coming week.

Soo,
Life has been very intense lately, with school, work and well trying to have a social life.
I love working at both places (an archive, cataloging collections and meeting really neat people), and at my church’s nursery. I love all the children, they are all soo cute and children have some of the craziest things come out of their mouths so it keeps things fresh. But the last couple of weeks of going from one job to the next, trying to manage school work (and failing miserably) along with trying to hang out with friends has been very difficult. I am really ready for school to be over with, one a year and a half left (but it feels like forever).

I haven’t had much time to blog and I don’t see that changing anytime soon, once a week is turning into once a month…but I will try and post pictures more often, probably on wordless Wednesday so at least something is going on here.