Grief

I've decided grief sucks.

I know grandma was dying, I've been getting phone calls all week on how she was. I thought I was prepared. I guess not.

I think about grandma or something we loved to do together and I feel tears on my cheeks. I've never been a crier so its uncomfortable and weird to me.

I love grandma. I have such great memories with her.

Walking to Safeway to get groceries, was fun, she would talk about the buildings or just how things had changed.

Playing Cribbage together, that will forever be etched in my memory as "our" game. She was always patient with me. She taught me how to play and as I got older she made the game more "grown up" by stealing points if I didn't add the math right. I remember 2 am in Mexico, neither of us could sleep so she says "you awake Kerry?" me "Yeah" her, "want to play some crib?" and we did. We played like 5 games of crib till both of us couldn't count and we were able to sleep. We did this several nights while in Mexico, with the spanish music station on t.v. softly playing in the background.

I remember sleep overs at grandma being a highlight. (especially if it was just me). There was one time I got to bowl with her team because they were a person short. I was so proud. (I didn't do very well but that fact that grandma would let me play was a big deal).

I love cooking with her, and hearing stories about growing up on the farm and then her travels through the years. I loved going through her picture albums and asking her questions about her friends and even about what her first thoughts were when I was born.

I am going to miss my grandma!
I wish I had some pictures of grandma to put here, but all my pictures of her didn't make it down to Texas.

Update 2/16/2010

So update.

School: STRESSED (have three tests this week, one next week, and a 5 page paper due the next week. I am hopeing (but not holding my breath) that it will calm down after spring break but that has never happened before but I can always hope.

Valentines Day: Happy Belated Valentines Day to y'all.
Mine was pretty fun. I got flowers at work on friday (and got asked out), went on my first officail (the guy met my dad and stuff) date. That was cool. Went to see a movie and just hung out and talked afterwards.

Sam: Still hasn't found a job. May be going up to Canada for a few weeks (wouldn't hold your breath over that). Mom says she will buy his ticket as a early birthday present.

Hmm, that seems to be about it for now. No new pictures. I haven't had time to take pictures, I will try and make up for that in the next couple of weeks.